My little lady...

I am the mom of an intersex child.
And probably one in every thousand moms you see are as well.

My daughter's condition had her taken from me at birth, and put through four days of testing before they could even tell me whether I'd had a boy or girl.
And you know what they told me? That she was in fact, neither. Or both. That I, along with her father, would have to 'assign' her gender.

I will go into more details on all the medical facts as I hopefully get this blog rolling.
My reason for starting this is to hopefully create some debate, and to share this information non-anonymously with people that I am certain will love and accept her regardless, and anonymously with....well...the rest of the world.

We have a great deal of friends and family who are perfectly aware of everything about our lives, but it makes me sad that this 'condition' is attached with such stigma (whether religious, or fear based....or...something else?)
If my child was born with down syndrome, or diabetes, or any other lifelong condition, I would be able to share very openly all my thoughts and fears and hopes...but instead, she has gone through so much! And instead, I have to very cautiously share information either vaguely, with a select few, or not at all.

Not fair! When I had to have her go 'under the knife' at 6 weeks, to remove her 'ovaries', only a handful of people knew. When she had to have her heart repeatedly tested for abnormalities, again....I could only share my fear with my closest friends and family. (Thank goodness, her heart is perfect!) Knowing that she will need to endure painful surgeries at puberty, because regardless of whether we chose 'correctly', she will need these? That most likely she will be forced to take growth hormone shots daily within the next few years, and hormones for her entire adult life? And that at a certain point SHE will be put in the horrible position of knowing who she can trust with all of this?

Whenever I hear people debate over anything relating to gay rights, marriage, etc, I'm glad that the road is being paved to make her life easier, but I just want to scream at people who feel that  being gay is somehow a choice, or that "God" would not accept people who are. I am not religious. And I know that not everyone who is thinks that being gay is wrong. But to those who do.....what about MY child? What if she decides that she likes women? Or what if she decides that she was meant to be a boy and decides she likes men?

She has both male and female chromosomes....so does "God" grant her a free pass to be gay? Or is she just an abomination to you, and her fate determined at the point of conception? I have to say, if it weren't for religion, I think her life would have a much better chance of going on unhindered.

Alright....time to get dressed and hang out with the coolest little person I know!